Living in the "In Between"

A common question we are asked is, "So, are you mentally in Chicago already?" It's a fair question but a tough one to answer. The reality is, we are living in the "in between" right now. We have sold our home and the majority of our possessions here in Dallas. We no longer have a firm "home" in Dallas anymore. We have an apartment in Chicago and several things lined up for us there, but we do not yet live in Chicago. We are no longer fully in Dallas nor fully in Chicago. We are "in between."

We have friends "in between" being married without kids and becoming parents (aka, they're pregnant, trying to become pregnant, or in the adoption process). We have friends who are "in between" jobs - either because they have fully left one job but do not yet have another job OR because they have mentally left one job but are staying there while actively looking for a new job. There are countless other examples but we all face "in between" moments at some point.

The greatest "in between" that we all experience everyday is the time "in between" life on earth and eternity in Heaven (or hell - it is a real place). We are also "in between" the time when God sent His only Son to die for us, conquer the grave, and ascend into Heaven and the time when Jesus will come back on a mighty white horse, fight the great battle, and establish a new Heaven and a new Earth (read Revelation 19:11-31 and Revelation 21:1-8 - great stuff). This is the great "in between" that we experience everyday.

So how does this play out for us? Typically, living in the "in between" means that we experience some sort of pain or discomfort. For the woman trying to get pregnant it might be the pain of watching other friends give birth. For the person sitting in a terrible work position just waiting for the next opportunity to come together, it's the pain of getting out of bed and going into the office every day. For Mike and I, it's the pain of watching our home revert back to a house that will soon belong to someone else. As believers awaiting Jesus' return it's the pain of seeing war-torn countries, malnourished children, divorce, abuse, and so much more.

So what do we do? How do we live in the "in between" and do it well? How do we navigate through the pain and discomfort? I believe there are two key things that help us in our "in between" times, (1) live in the present moment and (2) hope and pray for the future and resolution to the "in between."

Live in the Present
It's tough to have a beautiful, new apartment lined up in Chicago that needs a lot of furniture purchased and to not live in that most days. I must resist the temptation to spend 100% of my time finding new furniture, designing different layouts, and dreaming about the memories we will share in that apartment. I must focus on the task and the day in front of me. For example, today I need to go to work and finalize some deliverables, I must do the meal planning and go grocery shopping, and I will spend time talking to Mike and hearing how his day went. That doesn't mean I won't research furniture and dream up a new design for our Chicago apartment (in fact I already did some of that this morning) but I cannot allow this to demand my attention or get in the way of completing what I must do, here in the present.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:34 (NIV, emphasis mine)

For the worker who is "in between" jobs this means that you walk into the office and you commit 100% of your brain to the task at hand, no matter how much you hate it, no matter how boring and repetitive it may be, no matter how terrible your boss may act. Don't stop searching for a new job, you need to get out of a bad situation, but don't allow that to consume your thoughts and dictate your actions while you are at work.

For the woman who is pregnant or is trying to become pregnant, you need to focus your time and energy on your work (whatever it may be) and your current life with your husband. Ladies, hear me say this, you and your husband are already a family; you are not trying to start a family, you are trying to add to your family. Do what is necessary to prepare for baby but do not neglect the little family you already have with your husband. Do not spend so much time and energy preparing baby's room, researching every baby item ever invented, obsessing over birth plans or how to become pregnant in the first place, etc. These things are important and need to happen, but they should not be your sole focus.

And, for the world awaiting the return of King Jesus, we must care for the broken-hearted, bind up wounds, listen, and reflect Jesus. We must pray for Jesus's heart so that we are directed to tend to those who are caught in awful pain because of this "in between." But, we also cannot spend too much time anticipating Jesus's return. People have been predicting when Jesus will return since he ascended into Heaven. "Now, concerning the times and the seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night." 1 Thessalonians 5:1-2 (ESV). We do not know when Jesus is coming back, we only know that He is coming back. Focus on where Jesus has you now.

Hope and Pray for the Future

Do not give up hope. The future will come, yesterday's future is already here. I can struggle well through my current pain and "in between" because I know that in the blink of an eye Mike and I will be settled into our new apartment in Chicago. I spend dedicated time praying for our future, praying for guidance and direction in what is to come. But here is the important part, then I get up off my knees and go out into my current situation, fully clothed in the armor of Christ. I have peace of mind even in the middle of my sobs for the pain of leaving our current situation because Jesus is guiding us and directing us, He has a path. He has a plan. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV). Read Romans 8:18-30.

Don't stop praying for that child you are trying to conceive or that you are carrying now. Don't stop praying for a new job where you will be able to better use your gifts and talents. Don't stop praying for Jesus to come back quickly. Never stop hoping for these things. Never stop praying. But if these things do not come to fruition in this life, or in your timing, just remember that God's plans are perfect and better than any we can conceive on our own. Remember that we still live in the "in between" and so there is still pain, hurt, unfairness, and so much more.

I'm praying for you friends. It isn't easy to live in an "in between" time but I urge you to suffer well through the pains and discomforts. Live in the present, hope and pray for the future. Jesus is worth it, His plan is worth it. Our church has a core value of "God's mission over our comfort." Reflect over the power of those words. God's mission requires some "in between" times, but the "in between" is worth it. God's mission over my comfort.

Our Little Home

It was inevitable, we knew that it was coming, and yet I wasn't prepared for the emotions that would hit me like waves thrashing onto the beach. It was time to decide what to do with our little home - we were moving in two short months and we knew that we had to make a decision soon.

Mike bought our home five years ago in early 2010. The market was still down and he was ready to get out of apartment life and begin the journey of home ownership. For three-and-a-half years the house was not only home to Mike but also to some other guys who were Mike's roommates. The home has been a blessing to so many - we estimate that we have hosted more than 200 different people in our home over the past five years.

Mike and I have so many special memories in our home, too. One of our earliest memories from when we first met was at the house. Mike had just bought the house and was almost done with the remodel (he gutted the kitchen and put in a lot of love and TLC to the living/dining room, bathroom, and the rest of the house). Our church's singles group was hosting its only installment of "Spring Lunches" (thanks Burrows!) and Mike had offered to host a group in his home. The concept was that the host would make a main dish and the guests would bring sides, dessert, salads, etc. potluck style. The only little catch was that Mike's new appliances weren't in yet, nor was the majority of his furniture. So, Mike grabbed some fried chicken from Popeye's (ha!) and we all brought sides (I made my potato salad) and we ate at folding tables and chairs. It was a grand time because a home isn't about what's inside but who's inside and this home was full of great people. I honestly don't remember who else was at that lunch (sorry!) but I very clearly remember the lunch.

Fast forward two-and-a-half years and Mike and I have gone on our first date and were starting to hang out more. He was redoing his backyard and making it the masterpiece that it now is (seriously, those of you who've been over know what a labor of love that backyard was) and I offered to help him plant. Oh the things you do when you're infatuated - I had never been much to do any gardening but I suddenly had a new-found interest in gardening, or perhaps a new-found interest in someone who had an interest in gardening. Tomato, tomato. (That doesn't work so well when typing it out, they are pronounced different. You get it, right?) Anyway, I headed over to Mike's house on a cool September (or maybe October?) afternoon and who else was there helping Mike but his mom! Those of you who know my mother-in-law know that she is fabulous so we had a grand time running errands together to get more dirt for the garden. But you can be certain that I wasn't planning to meet Mike's parents that day while wearing ripped jeans and a worn fleece sweatshirt with my hair in a braid and little make-up on. Oh well, it's worked out swimmingly for us :)

On June 6, 2013 Mike and I went out to dinner and when we parked in the back of his house and walked in the back gate the most beautiful scene lay before my eyes. Rose petals and candles lighting the path to roses and champagne on the table with more candles. There Mike and I recalled our relationship thus far then he got down on one knee and asked me if I'd marry him. I said, "Of course!" and we prayed and hugged. We went inside to find our friends waiting to celebrate with us. Our home was so full of joy.

Pictures just don't do this romantic scene justice.

In mid-August of that same year we began re-painting all the walls, buying new furniture and decorations, and preparing the once refined bachelor pad to become our home. A home where we would share our lives together. In late October I moved into our home and Mike moved out as an act of love and sacrifice. When we were married in early January Mike moved back in and at last we had a chance to live together and enjoy our home.

We have filled our home with love and joy and more memories than I could possibly recount. And when we brought Leia into our home she left her mark on the home, too (literally - she chewed up one of the cabinets in the bathroom and ran straight through the screen door). And in this home I studied and prepared for the GMAT, I wrote admissions essays, and I received the happy news that I had been accepted to each school I had applied. It was in this home that God made it abundantly clear to both of us that He had a plan for us and that walking down His path meant leaving our comfortable, happy life in that same sweet, little home. And so, on February 18, 2015 we met with a real estate agent. 

It didn't take long for the decision to be made and the wheels to be set in motion and on February 28 (that was a Saturday) at 5:15 PM we officially listed our home for sale. By 10 AM the next day we had 7 showings scheduled and by the time we met with our Realtor at 8:30 PM Sunday night we had 6 offers on our home, the lowest of which was full asking price. In 24 hours our sweet, little home was sold and ready for it's next journey.

It's been really hard for me to let go of our home. I have moments of strength and moments of complete weakness. I've cried more tears than I care to admit but we've also laughed and dreamed together, too. This wonderful little home was a part of someone else's journey before it came into ours and it will now continue on to bless someone else. I've spent countless hours praying that our home may be a true blessing to the woman who is buying it from us and that she may enjoy this home and use it to bless others.

A home is meant to be shared not to be shown off. Wherever you are, whatever your taste or style, whatever stage of life you're in make your home a space that blesses others. Use your home to host, to love, to serve. Laugh until you cry and cry until you laugh - keep those memories tight. A home, and everything in a home, is temporary but the memories we always take with us. Use your home and all your possessions to bless others. I promise you will be glad that you did. And even though it is never easy to walk away from our home for any reason, it is the slightest bit easier when you can look back and say, "We've been good stewards of this home and it has blessed many people. It's been a good home and people will always remember it for it's open door and hospitality."