Time Keeps on Slippin' Into the Future

When Mike told me that he loved me and wanted to marry me (he didn't want to say, "I love you," unless he intended to marry me :) ) I couldn't wait to get engaged, get married, and start our married lives together. We looked at the wedding countdown religiously and were always ready to answer the question, "How much longer before the wedding?" It felt like forever as triple digits became double digits and slowly slipped into single digits. 

Mike and I said, "I do," 466 days ago already.

It feels like yesterday I was studying away, nervous to take the GMAT which was getting closer. And then I was anxiously awaiting my interviews with Booth and Kellogg. It felt like each hour was a year as I waited for admissions decisions.
It is now almost three months to the day since we found out I was accepted at Booth.

Mike and I went over Valentine's Day weekend to find our home in a big, new city. We have anxiously awaited the time when we will walk in the door to Hubbard Place and officially call it home - no longer relying on the photos and videos we have stored on our iPhones to remember our space.
In less than one week we will be on the road driving to our new home in Chicago.

One thing I know for certain is that time doesn't stop for anyone. As certainly as the world turns, time passes on. I was reading Ephesians this morning and this verse really stood out to me,

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15-16

The words were just the warning that I needed to hear this morning. Time will march on, no matter how slow (or fast) it seems to move I can assure you that time will move forward and we will be along for the ride. 

How will I spend my time? Will I walk as the wise, being intentional with my time, knowing what a precious gift each moment is to me? Or, will I sit idly and waste my time away? The days are evil - heed the warning! If you sit idly you will almost certainly slip into the evil of the day, in one form or another. Instead, walk as the wise. 

How do the wise walk through each day? The wise are aware of the tender nature of time and they respect time, both theirs and others. The wise work diligently and love deeply, they don't procrastinate for they know that time is always of the essence. The wise seek after God, discern their mission, and work urgently towards the mission God has set before them. 

I must admit that I can't say I've been walking as the wise each day. Lately, I am scattered and am juggling a lot of different thoughts in my mind - the move and associated logistics (especially the re-furnishing of our home) have taken up a massive amount of mental real estate. Even when I am at work I struggle to follow the best practices that I have followed so diligently for so many years. Typically, I walk into the office and review my running to-do list and prioritize which tasks I want/need to accomplish for the day. I then review my calendar and figure out what meetings I need to prepare for and what else lays before me. I make a plan and schedule for how to attack my day then I go through my emails, responding and following up then filing things away into my archives. I always end my day by reviewing and refreshing my to-do list and reviewing my calendar for the next day so that I am in the office on time and ready for the next day. Lately, I write my to-do lists in multiple places, lose focus quickly, and don't always prep for meetings until the 15 minute reminder pops up. At some point I look down and realize that it is time to go, shut down my computer and leave. No re-visiting my to-do list. No real preparations for the next day. This is not walking as the wise, this is walking as the unwise.

Plan your day according to the wise. Are you a stay-at-home mom? Great! Know that each moment that seems to drag by is actually a precious moment to shape and mold the young, beautiful souls that have been entrusted to you. Plan your day accordingly! Are you a working mom? Great! Your moments at work should be spent at work and your moments at home should be spent at home. Plan your day according the the wise! Are you a single man or woman working in the corporate world? Great! Don't devote all of your time to work but plan your day according to the wise - finding a balance between your time spent with God, your time at work, and your time serving others. 

Don't wish your time away. Don't sit and wait for something to happen to you. Discern God's will, determine the mission set forth for you, and seize the day - each moment is a gift from God and is meant to be lived intentionally.

Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant

These days I cry at the drop of a hat - we have less than two weeks left in Dallas and as we say goodbye to so many friends and consider the unknown of Chicago I can't help but be overwhelmed by about a million emotions. These emotions make me do all sorts of weird things like talk too much, remain completely silent, get upset over nothing, and, of course, cry. This became a huge problem last Sunday when a friend stood up in front of the church and announced that he is leaving to become the senior pastor at another church. Now, Mike and I already knew this news and we are so happy for him and his family. But, I wasn't planning on him choking up and saying, "You have no idea how hard it is to say goodbye to Northwest." Well cue the sobs because yes, yes I do know how hard it is to leave Northwest.
Northwest Bible Church has been my church home for the past five years while I lived in Dallas (it's been Mike's church home for over ten years). I found the church within a few weeks of moving here and after becoming fast-friends over coffee with my dear friend Charlotte I joined a small group and was anchored. Over the years Northwest has pushed me and challenged me to become an active Christian - to become someone who doesn't just sit in the pews on Sunday morning week after week but, rather, someone who does something during the week based on what they are reading and learning. Northwest has helped me weather several storms in my life and I can confidently say that my walk with the Lord is much more intimate, much more personal, and much more fruitful because of the blessing Northwest has been to me these five years. I could go on forever about how I met my husband and so many close friends at Northwest, etc. but I will start sobbing at my desk so I'm going to skip that for now. So, when my friend and pastor stood on stage and talked about how hard it is to leave Northwest - a mere two weeks before we would walk out the doors of the church for a final time as members - yeah, there were tears. And I'm not talking about a little bit of controllable tears, I'm talking about I-had-to-leave-the-worship-center-and-go-to-the-bathroom-to-finish-crying-it-out kind of tears. Also, I'm a terribly ugly crier. So there's that, too.
As I stood in the bathroom, crying harder than I would like to admit, I felt God's undeniable peace come over me. I heard God gently remind me that it is okay for it to be hard to say goodbye to Northwest because it means that real growth and connection happened here and that is a very good thing. I regained composure (somewhat) and went back into the service. I must pause here to mention the very kind gentleman sitting next to me in the pew who was obviously a visitor (he ate the communion as soon as he took it off the plate) and was probably so perplexed as to why I was crying that hard over a pastor moving on to another opportunity. Ha, poor guy probably thought I was crazy. He's a little bit right.
Neil's sermon was very appropriately the parable of the minas (or parable of the talents, or parable of the bags of gold, or a million other translations). If you aren't familiar, I urge you to stop reading my blog and go read Matthew 25:14-30 before reading on here, and you can listen to Neil's sermon here if you're interested. This parable is a metaphor for how we must be good stewards of the resources God has blessed us with here on earth. If we are faithful with what we have been given then, like the first and second servants, we will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." But, if we squander away the opportunity to make good use of our resources then there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth." Yikes. Remember that the third servant did not loose the money he had been given, he simply did nothing with it. Harsh reality, but reality none the less.
As we wrap up our time in Dallas I can't help but think of how each changing of season in our lives reflects an end to a certain set of opportunities and resources. I will no longer have the same co-workers, small group community, neighbors, etc. Have I done all that God has asked of me in my time in Dallas? Have I shown God to everyone I meet? (I can tell you the answer is no - my frustration/borderline road rage with Dallas drivers is a great example of not reflecting Christ everywhere I go - have I mentioned lately how excited I am to not have a car in Chicago?!) Have I taken what resources God has blessed me with during this season and poured them out lavishly for His kingdom's purpose? Each time a season comes to a close it is an opportunity to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." We have an opportunity to collect a series of these profound statements over the course of our lives, ultimately leading to the blessing of hearing this as our time on earth draws to a close and we get to spend the rest of eternity praising God and being in His presence.
Investing so deeply in Dallas and into the lives of our friends and those around us here means that it is that much more difficult to leave Dallas. It is that much more difficult to walk away from Wednesday night pizza and wine at Dough with my girlfriends. It is that much more difficult to walk away from Thursday night small group with a community that we cherish. It is that much more difficult to walk away from a church that has changed me in ways I cannot possibly put into words. But, the flip side is that it is also that much easier to walk away because we can walk away knowing that God is saying, "Well done, good and faithful servants. You were faithful in Dallas and I am proud of you. I have gone before you to prepare a home and community for you in Chicago."